Mar 29, 2020

Due to a recent pandemic, I've been on self-isolation as per the instruction of the government. While it should feel natural that it should be fine anyway, as I've rarely go out to begin with, my mental health still deteriorates slightly.

Having anxiety attacks every once in a while isn't a fun thing at all. I've been probably a bit over the top, but I'm not sure whether it is just completely me or it's because the entire social pressure that exerts upon me. There are people who leaves in and out of the house to buy food and I've considered them as a risk. It doesn't matter whether they have gone and wear to the extent of PPE suits.

I haven't seen a human being with my own eyes other than the screen for a month now. I've isolated in my room practically 23.5 hours a day, only to go out to shower/toilet/eat at home. Food supply is running out, and the area I live in is now classified as a "red zone", which means that there have been a lot of cases within the district. It also means that it is more likely to go on full lockdown and I'm not sure how the future holds. The government has announced that the partial lockdown will last another 2 more weeks but I'm pretty sure it will go on indefinitely until there is some cure found, and even then it would be at least 1+ months after they bring in cure due to how most likely there will be a shortage of theses.

I'm having doubts over my place still being peaceful, especially within the coming month. They said that we still have enough food, but I doubt that. I still keep a hammer next to me just in case. Also, I've been wearing masks even indoors and shower and change every 4 hours. My desk is sanitized every 6 hours too. I wish I can just die.

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